By Angie Arora, MSW, RSW
Arora Wellness

Boundaries. We know we need them. Yet, why can putting them into practice be so challenging? This article explores how we learn not to set them, their relevance to veterinary medicine, and practical ways to establish and maintain them. Given the disproportionate rate of exposure to stress and trauma, learning how to establish healthy boundaries is crucial for any RVT working in veterinary medicine, shelter medicine, wildlife and conservation, and animal welfare work as an important way to promote emotional and mental health.

We are taught not to set healthy boundaries.

 The challenges of establishing healthy boundaries often begin long before entering the profession. Growing up, can you recall being told things like, “Don’t cry,” “Be strong,” “There’s nothing to complain about,” or “Do what you’re told”? From childhood, we are taught to suppress our natural instincts to express ourselves. In schools, we often see similar issues. Traditional education tends to focus more on following rules and fitting in rather than encouraging creativity and critical thinking.

This suppression teaches children, who then become adults, to disconnect from the cues that signal their emotions, thoughts, and needs. They might start doubting their own instincts and rely more on external authority and the perceptions of what others expect from them. And so, to survive and maintain a connection with our caregivers and people in positions of authority, we adapt by pushing down our internal voice. These adaptive responses become learned behaviours. These learned behaviours then impact our ability to establish healthy boundaries, both personally and professionally.

The Role of Boundaries in Veterinary Medicine

Veterinary medicine, like many caregiving professions, is demanding and often emotionally taxing. It requires a deep level of empathy and care, not just for animals but also for the people who come alongside the animals and for us as caregivers. When this emotional labour is not met with healthy coping strategies (including boundaries) and supportive workplace environments, things like burnout, secondary traumatic stress and compassion fatigue may emerge. Yet, the culture within veterinary medicine has historically not promoted the expression of personal needs or the establishment of boundaries. Rather, professionals are often expected to prioritize patient and client care above their well-being, leading to self-sacrifice.

Healthy boundaries are essential for maintaining a balance between personal well-being and professional responsibilities. They enable veterinary professionals to provide the best care for their patients and clients while also taking care of themselves. Boundaries help manage workload, reduce stress, and prevent burnout, all of which are crucial for long-term career sustainability and personal health.

While there are many different types of boundaries (e.g. time, physical, emotional, etc.), boundaries come in different forms, from rigid to porous to healthy. Rigid boundaries mean sticking firmly to rules and saying no to almost everything, often to protect oneself. While this might offer some safety, it can also lead to feeling isolated and struggling to build meaningful relationships. On the flip side, porous boundaries involve putting others’ needs ahead of your own, sometimes to the point of neglecting your own needs. Healthy boundaries lie in the middle of this spectrum. They involve a clear understanding of one’s values, needs, and desires and the ability to assertively communicate these to oneself (internal boundaries) and others (relational boundaries). Establishing healthy boundaries is not about being inflexible or selfish; it is about making choices that align with one’s values while also considering the needs of others. In veterinary medicine, this might involve setting limits on work hours, ensuring adequate time for breaks, and being able to say no to requests, when necessary, while managing any guilt that may surface.

Establishing Healthy Boundaries in Veterinary Medicine

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries in veterinary medicine requires a conscious effort to reflect on one’s past experiences and current needs. Here are several steps that can help RVT’s develop healthier boundaries:

1. Self-Reflection and Awareness: Understanding the origins of one’s boundary challenges is the first step. Reflecting on past experiences, including childhood and educational influences, can help identify patterns of behaviour and beliefs that contribute to boundary issues. Recognizing these patterns allows individuals to challenge and change them.

2. Value Clarification: Identifying and prioritizing personal values is crucial in setting boundaries. Knowing what is important to you helps in making decisions that align with these values, whether it involves work-life balance, professional ethics, or personal health.

3. Assertive Communication: Developing the skill to communicate needs and boundaries clearly and assertively is essential. This involves expressing oneself honestly and respectfully, without aggression or passivity. In a professional setting, this might mean discussing workload concerns with a supervisor or addressing inappropriate behaviour from colleagues. One helpful technique is using an empathic assertion, that is, recognizing what the other person needs (empathy) and clearly stating what you can and cannot provide without overexplaining. For example, “I can appreciate it’s important that this shift be covered. I have plans for tonight that I won’t be able to change and won’t be able to cover it”.

4. Gradual Implementation: Establishing boundaries is a gradual process. Start with small, manageable changes, such as taking regular breaks, setting specific work hours, or scheduling time for self-care activities. Over time, these small changes can lead to more significant shifts in behaviour and mindset. One effective strategy for building boundary-setting skills is to start with “low-stakes” situations. This approach involves practicing boundary-setting in relationships and situations that feel safe and supportive. For example, instead of beginning with challenging scenarios like having difficult conversations with supervisors, people can start by asserting their needs with trusted colleagues or friends. In these safer environments, people can experiment with small boundary-setting actions, such as expressing preferences, saying no to minor requests, or asking for more time to complete a task. The goal is to gradually increase one’s comfort level and tolerance for setting boundaries, which can help reduce anxiety and hesitation when facing more challenging scenarios.

5. Creating a Supportive Environment: It is important to foster a work environment where boundary-setting is respected and encouraged. This can be achieved through leadership that models healthy boundaries, provides regular skills-based well-being training, and promotes open communication about mental health and well-being.

6. Seeking Professional Help: Sometimes, boundary issues are deeply ingrained and challenging to address alone. Seeking guidance from a mental health professional can provide valuable support and strategies for establishing healthier boundaries.

Conclusion

Boundaries are a fundamental aspect of professional and personal well-being in veterinary medicine. They can help prevent burnout, manage stress, and maintain a healthy balance between caring for others and oneself. However, establishing these boundaries requires a conscious effort to reflect on past experiences, clarify values, and develop assertive communication skills. Creating a supportive work environment that respects and encourages boundary-setting is also crucial. By prioritizing boundaries, veterinary professionals can sustain their passion for the field while maintaining their health and well-being.

If you are interested in exploring ways to put these suggestions into practice, sign up for my new course titled “Emotions Unlocked: Learning to Safely Feel.”  Emotions Unlocked is a first-of-its-kind, RACE-approved online course that helps veterinary professionals discover and develop emotional wellness skills they need to thrive in their roles, which is required to set healthy boundaries.

Angie Arora, MSW, RSW, founder of Arora Wellness, is a Veterinary Social Worker supporting the human needs that arise from human-animal relationships, specializing in veterinary mental health and well-being, pet loss support, and equity issues within veterinary medicine. As a certified Compassion Fatigue Specialist, Angie provides trauma-informed therapeutic coaching, training and courses to help animal care professionals and organizations move out of states of surviving to thriving. She is actively involved in relevant veterinary medicine initiatives with organizations including blendVET, Canadian Collective for Equity in Veterinary Medicine, International Association of Veterinary Social Work, the Toronto Zoo, and veterinary hospitals and shelters across North America. She completed her Bachelor of Social Work with the Toronto Metropolitan University, Master of Social Work with York University and is deeply committed to her personal and professional growth. She is certified in Emotional CPR with the National Empowerment Centre, completed her Compassion Fatigue Specialist certification with the Traumatology Institute and completed her International Coaching Federation training with the Mind Rebel Academy.